Lovin' Lately
by lao1993
Summary: Caroline and Nikki were once the "it" couple in all of Rock N Roll; An innocent Southern Belle and a hell-raising bad boy. Even though they appeared to have the perfect relationship, closed doors and telephone calls tell of a different story...
1. Prologue

1990

I looked around the empty house, trying to decide if I had gathered all my things. There were so many emotions coursing through my body, but I did my best to stay strong. I felt as if all of the commotion was a long time coming. I tried to stick it out the best I could but a person can only take so much. "Whenever you're ready, ma'am." The driver spoke as he stuck his head in from the outside. I simply gave him a nod and told him that I would be only a few more seconds. He agreed and walked back to the awaiting car. I placed my bag down on the second step and looked around the place. We had shared so many memories here but half of those were filled with more tears than anyone can imagine. Good, bad fights, laughs, and intimate times filled the home but the only thing I could feel now was emptiness.

I travelled up the stairs, passing by pictures from years gone by, and made my way to our bedroom. The bed was still a mess, seeing as I didn't bother to make it after removing myself from it early this morning. It's not like he came home to share it with me. Hell, I wasn't even sure where he was. The last time I saw him was two days ago when he decided to grace me with his presence. The band was at a standstill with recording and issues within the band. I tried my best not to pry but it's kind of hard when your husband's yelling about it as soon as he enters the house. The other wives made sure to let their opinions known but I could never do that. I wasn't a member of the band, I was only married to a member. I had no say in any of the decisions that were made or going to be made. I was taught never to pry in things that don't pertain to me, so that's what I did. I think in a way it pissed him off when I didn't bother to give my opinion. He would bring me into all these conversations with the others or people that were higher on the food chain. He would try to get me to speak my mind, often times trying to get me to side with what he was saying. I couldn't do that. It was none of my business.

From the first time I saw him, I knew that he was nothing but trouble. My mind was telling me to stay far far away from him but my heart kept dragging me back. He could have possessed any girl with that look of his but he was so persistent in the chase. I wanted nothing to do with him, almost calling the cops at one point because he wouldn't leave me alone. I was living my simple life and then he came barging in like a tornado. I had never heard of his band or any band like it. I grew up where country rang supreme. I grew up on listening to Tammy, Loretta, Hank, and George. Rock music was banned from our home, seeing as the only people who made it and listened to it was those that needed to get their priorities straight. I can't even remember how everything came together, but it was as if something pulled us together. It was as if we were two magnets, one trying it's best to stay away, while the other pulls itself right towards it. I was the one struggling and Nikki was the one pulling forward.

I feel like that's how our relationship continued to be even when we're settled. I was always pulling away from things, while he was trying his best to pull me with him. I wanted nothing to do with the parties or the people attending. I wasn't interested in hanging out with the girlfriends, flings, or wives of the time. The only time I attended parties or social functions was when we first got together. I was new to the whole scene and thought that I should keep my options open. I thought that maybe I would become friends with some of the girls that the others brought around but that was never the case. If I did somehow become friends with them, they were either replaced by another within a week or they would stab me in the back. I never knew who I could trust, including my own husband.

"Ms. Knapps?" The driver called up the stairs. "We have to leave now in order for you to make your flight." I wiped away the stray tear that had somehow escaped and gave the room one last look. I closed the door behind me and made my way down the stairs, grabbing my bag in the process. The driver gave me a smile as I followed him out the door, making sure to lock it behind me. "All set?" Harold asked as he opened the car door. I simply gave him a small smile and a nod of the head. I quickly slipped into the backseat, my heart feeling like it was seconds away from breaking. I knew that this was going to happen sooner or later but I think if Nikki was here, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I had tried calling the studio and the hotel where he was supposed to be staying to let him know that I was leaving today but he never answered. The only person who answered on occasion was one of the roadies, but I doubt he even relayed the message back to him. I didn't want it to end this way but I had no other choice. I never wanted to leave in the first place but I just couldn't deal with the mess anymore. More lies were getting told on both sides and that's not the way I wanted our relationship to be. He deserved to be happy in the way he wanted and I deserved that as well.

I glared out the window as Harold settled himself in the front seat. Within minutes, we were on our way to the airport. The house and the surrounding area became smaller and smaller, soon disappearing out of sight. I kept telling myself that this was the right decision. Everything was becoming finalized and set in stone and there was no going back from that. I still loved him with all my heart but sometimes you have to actually listen to your mind and let it tell you when it's time to go.

Hey guys!

So I decided to change this story up a bit and make it match the summary. I also changed the title. Please let me know what you think by commenting!


	2. Chapter 1

1987

"I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank You! Thank you, Sam I Am!" I read aloud.

All the kids began to clap their hands in excitement as I closed the book, placing it back on the bookshelf behind me. "Now-" I began. "Since our character learned to like Green Eggs and Ham, how about we try some out as well?" A couple kids made funny faces while the others looked at me excitedly. "Okay, so you all are gonna follow Ms. Kate and she's gonna get them for you all!" Before Kate could even speak, the kids started running towards the lunch area. Today was my day to read to the kids at the public library, plus I could never turn down a plate of green eggs and ham. Ever since I stopped teaching, I had plenty of time to do things. I always loved being around children, especially those that are just learning about the world of reading. It was so fun to watch their eyes light up in excitement as the characters came to life in the words and pictures. "Thank you so much for bringing the kids actual Green Eggs and Ham, Caroline." Patricia, the head librarian, spoke as she approached me. "I don't think anyone has ever done that before."

"Oh it's nothing. I used to make it for my first graders when we read the book. It was no problem at all." I smiled. "Since next week's book is _If You Give A Mouse A Cookie_ , I was thinking of bringing the kids cookies and some milk. I mean if that's okay with you and all." I backpedaled. I didn't want to overstep my boundary. "That would be fantastic." Patricia smiled. "Thank you." I was about to speak but one of the mom's started calling her name. She quickly excused herself and walked towards the growing crowd of mothers. I knew that some of the mothers weren't fond of me but I wasn't there to make them smile. I was there to make their children smile and that's all I cared about.

I quickly gathered all my things and placed my sunglasses on my face before walking out into the Southern California heat. It was still early in the afternoon but I still had so many errands to run before I could head home. I had to pick up some groceries since the fridge and cabinets were practically bare and I also had to pay some bills that were due. I started the black Range Rover and slowly pulled out of the parking spot. I proceeded to roll down all the window and turned up the radio to listen to whatever song was on...

After completing all the errands and getting our bills paid, I finally arrived home to find several cars parked in our driveway. The gate was closed when I approached the property and I doubt Nikki removed himself from the bedroom to let them in. I remained curious as I placed the car in park and removed myself from the driver's seat. I checked out the car that was parked in front of mine, making sure it wasn't one of the guys. It was a little junky to be honest and looked like it had been involved in a number of accidents. I knew the cars that the rest of the Motley guys drove since they came over quite often, but I had no idea who the owner of this piece of scrap-metal was.

I gathered all the groceries in my arms and made my way up to the door, hearing a male and female voice coming from the other side. I could feel my cheeks starting to slightly heat up as I placed one bag on the ground so I could push open the door. "Hello?" I somewhat yelled as I struggled to pick the bag back up. "Nikki?" I yelled my husband's name. The voices stopped for a second before footsteps started to make their way towards me. Seconds later, Nikki appeared from around the corner. "Hey babe." He slurred his words a bit. "I didn't think you would be home so early." I practically shoved the bag into his chest as I picked up the one I had set down. "What?" He asked confused as I marched past him and into the home. As I got closer to the living room, the sound of whispers could be heard. I didn't know what the hell was going on but by the way Nikki's eyes were glassed over, I knew it had something to do with drugs. My intuition was right when I saw the sleezeball Nikki had gotten mixed up with standing in my living room with a cracked out looking woman. "Hey-" The guy laughed. "It's little miss killjoy." I rolled my eyes as I set the bag on the couch next to me. "You weren't supposed to be home for a while, girl." This guy was the epitome of disgust. He looked as if he hadn't showered for the past three years and his clothes looked as if they were on their last wear.

"Who is she?" The girl asked. Her eyes were just as tweaked out as Nikki's but the way she was chewing her gum was starting to piss me off. She kept chomping on it like a cow chomps on its cud. "I'm the owner of this house; who the hell are you?" I was growing more and more pissed by the second. I wasn't usually a confrontational person, hell I didn't even like cussing, but this whole situation was making me furious. A smirk found its way onto her face as she leaned against the guy. "Wouldn't you like to know." Before I could say anything or even do anything, Nikki came running back into the room. "Get the fuck out, man." He ordered. "Take your whore with you." I didn't know what came over him but I'm glad he told them before I could. "What?" The guy asked confused. "What about our deal?" He was getting angry. "You owe me, man!"

"I said to get the hell out, now!" Nikki's voice raised, causing me to jump in surprise. I could see the guy was extremely angry but Nikki was angrier. "Fuck you." The man spoke lowly as he pulled the girl past us, making sure to knock shoulders with Nikki. Seconds later, the door slammed shut, causing the picture that adorned the wall to fall. Silence fell between the two of us for a brief moment before Nikki decided to speak. "I'm sorry." He whispered. All I could do was stand there and stare at the ground. This wasn't the first time I witnessed this type of behavior. There were many times when I saw his eyes hazy and empty. There were many times when I found that man standing in a part of our house giving my husband drugs and then walking out as if he was Elvis. There were many times when I would find little baggies and choose to ignore it. "I know you're mad, Caroline." He spoke again. "I promise that this is the last time. I just needed a pick me up and that's it." My head snapped to look at him.

"A pick me up? A pick me up, Nikki?" I raised my voice. "Buying cocaine from a junkie is not a pick me up. If you want a pick me up, go outside and see the sunshine once in awhile or do something productive. Buying cocaine isn't a pick me up, it's a fucking death wish." I can't tell you how many times those words escaped through my mouth and he never listened. I don't know how many time I threatened to leave and never come back but we both knew that wasn't a choice. Nikki and I both knew that I would never leave him. I loved him too much to leave him alone. He needed me as much as I needed him.

"I promise this is the last time, baby. I promise." All I could do was look up at him and just nod my head. I knew this wasn't the last time, it was only the beginning...

A couple hours later, I found myself staring at Nikki's reflection as he got ready for Vince's party. We had only gotten the call an hour or two ago and I insisted that we attend. I figured that it would do Nikki good to get out and interact with people who cared for him instead of those just wanting his money. He kept repeating that he didn't want to go out even starting an argument over the whole ordeal. I kept repeating that it would do him good to get out for a while but he refused to listen. "You almost ready?" I finally spoke. He looked at me through the mirror and rolled his eyes. "Nik, please just do this for me?" I walked up behind him. "Everything's going to be okay." I whispered against his bare shoulder.

He stayed stiff for a second before slowly turning to face me. He encircled his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. "How about we just stay here and have a party of our own." A smile appeared on his face. "Have a little wine, sit by the fire, maybe make love all night." I acted like I was considering the offer as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "That all sounds lovely but-" His face fell. "I already told Vince's current girlfriend that we would be there but we can do all that when we get home." Before he could respond, I placed a quick peck on his lips and walked away to finish getting ready...

The party didn't go as well as I had hoped for.

It all started as soon as Nikki and I walked through the door. A large cloud of smoke and the smell of booze filled the air, almost causing me to gasp for fresh air. I had been to a handful of Vince Neil parties but this one was the worst by far. There were girls running around nearly naked or completely naked, not caring that there were other people around. People were doing lines of cocaine off of tables, banisters, and each other for that matter. Last but not least, people were engaged in sexual acts all over the place. This wasn't a party, this was a drug fueled orgy. "Hey guys!" Vince's latest squeeze yelled from the top of the staircase. I watched as she stumbled over her drunken feet, almost falling to the ground once she reached the last step. "So glad you could make it." She slurred. "Help yourself to anything; mi casa is your casa!"

I just gave her a small smile before looking up towards Nikki. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." I confessed. He was pissed to say the least. "You wanna head home?" He looked down at me and rolled his eyes. "You wanted me to come to this party so bad and now you wanna leave?" He questioned as he tore off his jacket. "You can go, I think I'm gonna stay." He practically threw the jacket in my face before walking off into the crowd...


	3. Chapter 2

I don't know what time Nikki decided to come home that night but I found him passed out on the floor when I woke up the next morning. He reeked of alcohol and sweat, not to mention his once whole shirt was now torn to shreds. I didn't even want to know what had caused that, I wasn't in the mood to be angry this morning. I removed myself from the bed and stepped over his comatose body on my way to the bathroom. I quickly did my morning routine and made my way down the stairs to fix some breakfast. I knew that he wouldn't be up anytime soon, so I made breakfast for just myself. I didn't have anything to do today except care for a hungover spouse when he decided to wake up.

Once I had the pan heating up for a batch of pancakes, I turned on the television to see if anything was on. MTV was the first thing I saw once the screen came to view. Nikki was obsessed with watching the channel, making a habit of it everyday. I didn't understand what the big fascination was. It became boring after a while since the videos seemed to just repeat themselves. Yeah, they would have interviews and such but it was just a waste of time. I changed the channel to one of the local news stations and saw Sally Jesse Raphael was on. Like Nikki love for MTV, my obsession was talk shows. I could spend half my day watching them and be sucked into their stories. Some of their guest were your typical everyday people and other times, the guest were about as strange as those walking down the strip in the middle of the night. Nikki would always yell and complain about them but there was a time or two when he would become hooked as well. It made you realize that some people had bigger problems than you, and sometimes I needed to see and hear that to remain hopeful.

The sound of sizzling brought me back to reality and into the kitchen. I slowly poured the batter into the pan and watched as it began to cook from the bottom. "Line?" Nikki's voice echoed through the house. "Caroline?" I let out a sigh as I flipped the fragile product. "Babe?" A second later, a worse for wear Nikki appeared in front of me. I didn't look at him at first but took a glance when he walked towards the refrigerator. It was at that moment that I saw his eye was bruised and he had a cut on his lip. The shirt that was torn apart had traces of blood on it, not being sure if it was his or whoever did that to his face. "What happened to your face?" I asked as I removed the pancakes from the burner so I could go over to him. He backed away from hand before I could touch the injuries. This wasn't my first rodeo when it came to battle wounds. My father was notorious for getting into fights he couldn't win. He would come how with gashes here and there but still wanting to go back for more.

My father and Nikki were alike in several ways. They both had their own demons that they had to live with and both have or had committed women by their sides. My mom tried to stick out the best she could but as soon as my dad's hands came into the picture, she decided that she could no longer take the hassle. I would listen on several occasions when my dad would call her and beg for her forgiveness and for her to come back. I could see that it played with my mom's emotions but she held strong and never went back. Several years later, a police officer showed up at our door and told us he had been found dead behind some bar. He was beaten to a pulp over a 10 dollar debt that he owed some guy. The sad thing was, we didn't even bother to have a funeral for him. Since he didn't have any other relatives besides my mom and I, it was up to my mom to decide what to do. She was already with James, her boyfriend at the time, and allowed him to help with her decision. James was your typical country clubbing, golf enthusiast, who looked down upon people such as my dad and even Nikki. He didn't think it would be worth my mother's time to have a funeral and burial for someone who tried to hurt her in the past. Without telling me, they had him cremated and scattered his ashes in a field behind James' home. They told me that it was what my father would have wanted but I beg to differ. My dad wasn't some monstrous man. He was just troubled and could never find the right path to hop on to.

"Some asshole at Vince's last night." He stated. "Fucker hit me for no fucking reason." I let out deep sigh as I looked over the bruise and the cut. "I took care of him though." He started to laugh. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I stepped away from him and back to the stove. Of course he took care of him. I'm sure the person's lawyer will be calling in a few days to let us know how much Nikki took care of him. "You cooking enough for me." He whispered as his arms circled around my waist. I could feel his lips slowly trailing up my neck, causing my concentration to shift. "Wasn't planning on it." I held back a smile as I flipped the pancake one last time. "There's milk and cereal in the fridge." His smile grew bigger against my bare shoulder. "Maybe i'm in the mood for something other than milk and cereal."

I removed from the pan from the burner once again and turned in his arms. He backed up slightly, dragging me with him so we were away from the stove. "Is that right?" I teased. "I don't know if i'm in the mood for anything but pancakes, maybe a little sausage or ham on the side." His grip grew stronger as he pulled my body flush against his. "Maybe a little syrup or butter on those pancakes?" He suggested. "A sticky, slick combination makes it go down better." I couldn't help but start laughing. This was the Nikki I loved the most. The weird, quirky, lovable guy standing right in front of me. Even though he looked as though he had been through the ringer, he appeared sober and that's all that mattered. He never acted this way when he was under the influence. "You're such a weirdo." I laughed out as I placed a kiss to his lips.

I began to pull away but he pulled me back. The spatula I had in my hand fell to the floor as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips moved in sync as I felt his hands travel down my body, landing right under my ass. Within seconds, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he backed us into the nearest table. "What about the pancakes?" I muttered between kisses. "They're gonna get cold."I had no idea why I was so worried about the food at this point. "Fuck the pancakes." He simply replied before placing me on the dining room table...

I redressed a couple hours later as Nikki slept in our bed. I couldn't help but have a smile on my face as I looked at myself in the mirror and combed the knots out of my wet hair. I was a little surprised at how well everything had went hours before. It was as if it was the first time, slow and steady. There were no instances of drunkenness or heads in the cloud. It was Nikki and I, the real deal. I tiptoed out of the room and back down the stairs. The pancakes were still sitting in the pan where I had left them and the things that were on to table were now sitting on the floor. My discarded pajamas and Nikki's clothes joined them as well. I quickly picked up the garments and brought them over to the laundry room so they could be washed. I poured the detergent into the tub and started throwing them in one by one. When it came to washing clothes, I was very type A. I hated when pants legs were inside out or if belts were still attached. Since these were Nikki's pants, they had both agitators. I unhooked the belt and hung it up on the shelf and before making sure nothing was in his pockets. The first one was clean but when I checked the second one, a baggy and a folded piece of paper fell into my hand. The baggy had little specks of powder still inside, but was basically empty. I figured that he had used last night since he was passed out on the floor but I didn't expect to find a girl's number written on the strip of paper.

Thanks for the fun, baby. Call me xoxo  
555-1234

First off, what kind of name is Candy and what kind of fun did she have with my husband? I knew there were some suspicious looking women at that party last night. I could see their eyes light up with lust as soon as Nikki walked through the door. I've had to deal with it every since we've been together. I knew how girls and even some guys looked at him. He was the dark, brooding type that could drive people crazy with just one look. I mean that's how he reeled me in after much protest. I always looked at guys like Nikki and thought they were a waste of time. All they did was party and cause trouble wherever they land and that was not for me. All throughout high school and college career, I dated guys that looked as if they came out of a JC Penny catalog. Nicely dressed, short hair, and came from a good family. My mother almost had a heart attack when she found out I was dating Nikki. It was almost as if she had a flashback of her own life with my father.

I looked down at the piece of paper and decided to just crumple it up. I was choosing to ignore the situation. How was I to know that the girl wasn't getting Nikki mixed up with someone else? She may have just written that and slipped it into his pocket to be cute, more like a whore though. I put it in the trash can, along with the little baggy of who knows what, and continued with the clothes. Nikki and I had a good morning and I wasn't going to have some floozy and another sign of drug use mess that up...

"It seems like it's been forever since we've had lunch together; I feel like i'm missing so much of your life!" My best friend, Mac, exclaimed. Since she lived in Georgia, it was hard for her to come out to California all the time. She would come out for holidays or for my birthday, sometimes showing up just as a surprise. That was what this visit was, a surprise. "How's LA treating you?" She asked as she took a sip of her tea. I simply shrugged my shoulders, "It's okay I guess." She looked at me a bit concerned. "It just gets to you at times." I wasn't lying, it was fine at times but other times it would just suck you. There was plenty of drama that never seemed to go away. I tried not to get involved but Nikki made it so hard. If I didn't agree with what he was saying, his anger would be directed towards me. The girls were another reason for the drama. For example, the note I found in his pockets. These girls don't give a flying flip if he's married or not. They could care less, just wanting to at least get him into bed. I would go to parties or clubs with him and these girls would drape themselves over him right in front of me. It's not like they didn't know who I was, they knew exactly who I was!

"Is everything with Nikki okay?" I nodded my head. She may have been my best friend but I wasn't going to tell her that he was back on drugs and possibly cheating on me. "Yeah, everything's fine." I gave her a reassuring smile. "How about you and Bryan?" She rolled her eyes at my question. "Not good I gather." I laughed. Mac was always dramatic when it came to Bryan, her on and off again boyfriend. She had met him at a party a few years ago and it was love at first sight. That love at first sight lasted for 48 hours and then it was nothing but annoyance and fighting. They were basically the same person. They both loved to party, drink, and check out other people. Mac had an eye that would wander from town to town if you gave it a chance. She made sure to check out every guy that walked into a room, ugly, average, or gorgeous. She gave everyone a chance.

"He's just so clingy, like static electricity." I couldn't help but laugh. "He just won't leave me alone, like ever!" Even though her tone of voice and facial expressions told one story, I knew her heart believed a different one. I knew that deep down she loved him with all her heart but she wasn't going to admit it. "You wanna go get our nails done when we finish eating?" She changed the subject. "I'm in desperate need of an LA manicure." Sometimes I thought that Mac was the one that needed to be with Nikki. They were basically the same person inside and out. The only problem was that they hated each other. "Yeah, I guess." I told her.

We continued to eat and talk before leaving for the nail salon. I hadn't had my nails done in ages but I figured it would be a treat since Mac was in town. "How can I help you?" The lady asked one we stepped into the store. "Two manicures, please." Mac spoke. The lady nodded her head and told us to pick out the color we wanted. I chose to be simple and get a light pink, while Mac chose a blood red color. As I was taking a seat at one of the tables, I felt a pair of eyes glaring into my skin. I tried to discreetly look around to see who could be doing it, but I also didn't want to start pointing fingers. I decided to just brush it off and wait until the manicurist was done with the other customer.

"That's Nikki's wife." I heard a hushed whisper. "Looks more like a character off of Little House On the Prairie." I looked over at Mac but she must have not heard it. "I was thinking more like Leave It To Beaver; she's too square to be married to a babe like him." My blood was starting to boil again. They weren't even whispering at this point. It was as if they wanted me to hear everything they were saying. "Yeah, he didn't bother to mention that he was married when I was fucking him last night." I could feel tears spring up in my eyes as I sat there, trying my best not to cause a scene. I wasn't raised to show my ass if front of people I didn't know. I wasn't raised to talk about people in front of a group of strangers either. I could tell by looking at these girls that they were Hollywood slum and would do anything to become famous. They looked the part as well. It wasn't hard to pick out their kind around the strip or anywhere in the city. Big hair, long nails, tight close, and heels taller than any man i've ever seen. I've seen my fair share of them at the parties that Nikki and I frequented. The record execs usually brought them in or they conned their way in somehow. They would hang around in their little cliques and stare at the guys, sometimes being brave enough to come over and talk. I could tolerate some of them but the ones you had to watch out for where the girls that were in the nail salon at this time.

These girls knew that they were beautiful. Hell, I would even admit that they were perfect. These girls had the blonde or brunette hair that was perfectly teased or styled in a particular way. They had their own money, cars, and houses. Some of them even had 'modeling' jobs that could get them into any bed in the country."I was with him during the last tour, multiple times." I had finally had enough. I ripped myself out of my seat and stormed out of the salon. I could hear Mac yelling from behind the door but I needed to get the hell out of there before I did something drastic.


	4. Chapter 3

**I must have broken every traffic law known to man as I raced home from the nail salon.**

The only time I cried was when I first entered the car but as I drove, my anger began to get the best of me. I could hear the girl's conversation replaying in my mind as I whizzed past the traffic around me. I knew of past encounters that Nikki had with other girls but he swore to me that he hadn't been with anyone in over a year. He also promised he wasn't doing drugs again but I knew that was also a lie. It was as if our marriage had been a complete joke for the past year. He was out screwing anything that walked and I was patiently and naively waiting for him to come back. I could have been like the other girls and had my own little fling. It's not like I've had guys throwing themselves at me but it wouldn't have been hard to pick up some wannabe at the parties we attend. I just don't see how these girls can throw themselves at men and be okay with one-night stands. I would feel horrible if I was the type of girl who just went to parties and concerts to hook up. I've seen the way they dress when they're at the club and even when they're at concerts. Their hair is sky high and their clothing looks as if a shedder had eaten most of it. Sometimes I wonder why Nikki and I got together in the first place. We were opposites and I definitely didn't look like the type of girl that he had been with in the past. I was a plain jane, who resembled a librarian rather than the wife of a successful rock star. My wardrobe consisted of dresses that rested at my knee and varies pairs of jeans and shirts. I don't even think I owned anything that would ignite a fire in a guy's pants.

I arrived home and saw that Nikki's car was nowhere to be found. I felt a bit relieved to see this because I wasn't sure how I would have reacted if I saw him at this point. I made my way into the house and threw my stuff down on the couch before collapsing on it myself. I let out a sigh as I turned on the TV and just blankly stared at the screen. MTV was on as usual but I didn't care to listen to who was playing. I don't know why I was so down, it's not like this was the first time I've heard girls say things like that. The difference between today and the past was that they were saying those things in front of other people. In the past, the girls would personally come up to me and speak about their nights with Nikki, but these girls were spreading it to everyone that was in the nail salon. I don't know if they were but I felt as if everyone in the shop was staring at me. I doubt they knew who I was since I don't parade myself around but it wouldn't surprise me if the girls didn't tell them.

I was in the middle of flipping channels when I heard a car pull up. I figured it was Nikki, so I didn't bother to get up. I had nothing to say to him and I sure as hell wasn't going to greet him as soon as he walked in. "Caroline?" His voice rang out as he opened the door. "Babe?" I remained silent as I heard not only his footsteps walk into the house, but a trail of others as well. Typical! He was always bringing over strangers to not only stink up my house but to trash it as well. "Here you are." He smiled as he walked in front of the television. "Why didn't you answer when I called?" I just shrugged my shoulders, craning my head past him so I could see the TV. I heard someone snicker from behind, causing Nikki to turn red in embarrassment. He probably told his guest that I was some doting little rock wife, who would kiss his ass every time he walked through the front door. "Caroline, would you like to introduce yourself to our new friends." I rolled my eyes. They weren't my friends and they would probably never be my friends. I let out a sigh as I turned off the television and raised from the couch. Behind me stood three guys, a blonde and two brunettes. "Guys, this is my girl Caroline. Caroline, this is Sebastian, Rachel, and Snake." I cocked my eyebrow up at the name of the last guy. The blonde guy was the first to come, sticking his hand out for me to shake. I gave him a small smile as I accepted his handshake. "Nice to meet you." I spoke. The other two guys followed their friend's lead as we all exchanged greetings. "Baz and the guys are going are playing a gig tonight and I told them we would be there before we hit up the party." I kept my eyes on the guys as Nikki spoke. "It's gonna be a killer show." The blonde smiled.

I just nodded my head as I turned to look at Nikki. "I have a few errands to run, I'll be back later." He looked at me confused as I told the guys goodbye and made my way towards the front door. The California sun had heated up since this morning, making me glad that I had decided to wear a tank top under my overalls. I hopped into the car and made my way onto the highway. The windows were down and the music was up as Huey Lewis sang his heart out. I never listened to the same music as Nikki. Hell, I couldn't even listen to Motley Crue. Whenever Nikki would decide to drive, metal music would be blaring out of the car. Bands that influenced him and those that had gravitated their way into his life would be screaming out of the stereo system. He would always bitch about how I played nothing but country and the Top 40 but that's just the music I grew up loving. I guess you could say that's another personality deviant we have.

By the time I was done with everything it was already 6:30. The streets were filled with people on their way home from their jobs, while the rest of the people prepared for their nights out. I didn't bother to ask Nikki or the guys he had brought over what time their set started but I was guessing it would be late. I doubt we would be staying the whole time unless the guys were good, but that rarely ever happened. Most of the concerts Nikki attended were performed by mediocre bands who wanted to make it big like their idols. They all seemed to look the same with big hair and more makeup on their faces as if they were competing with a crowd of hookers. Of course, I was dragged to these shows as well and had to endure an hour or two of loud guitars and obnoxious lead singers. It got a little tiring after a while.

I made it home a couple minutes before seven and saw that Nikki's car was parked in the same place it had been when I left. Knowing him, he probably fell asleep for a few hours after his guest left. He would party all night and sleep all day to reenergize for the next event. I was surprised to see that he was up before three today when he came back from wherever he had went too. I carried the groceries into the house, not bothering to yell his name like he had done earlier. I quickly put the food away and slowly made my way up the stairs to our room. Nikki was sound asleep on the bed as some movie glowed through the room. A part of me felt like drawing open the drapes and having the sunset blast through the room, giving him a harsh wake up call. I shook my head at the thought as I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I started the shower and quickly washed my body and hair. By the time I was done with my hair and makeup, Nikki had finally decided to wake up. His eyes were bloodshot and his raven hair was a tangled mess. "Babe?" His voice cracked. I appeared from the closet and turned on the lights so he could see me. "It's almost 8." I simply said. He let out a sigh as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "What's your problem, Caroline."

I stayed silent for a moment before telling him that I was fine. If he bought it or not I didn't care. "Don't give me that shit." He replied as he struggled to get out of the bed. "I know when you're pissed off at me." I watched as he made his way towards me, causing me to back into the wall. I clenched the towel I had wrapped around my body tighter as his eyes traveled up my body. "I bet I know something that will make you feel better." His hands reached up, grasping onto the towel. Within seconds, the towel was on the floor and I was stark naked. "I just did my hair and makeup." I whined as his lips connected with my collarbone. "Nikki, I'm serious." I tried to push away but his hands caught mine and pinned them against the wall. "You can redo it." He simply said as he trailed his lips further down my body. I wanted so badly to push him away and yell at him for what I went through today but I couldn't do it. Once again, Nikki was in charge and I had no control….

I redid my hair and makeup for the second time that night while Nikki showered. I felt like kicking myself for what I allowed him to do but it was my own fault for allowing it to happen. I could have pushed him away and told him no but I just couldn't do it. I did my best to cover the blotches and bruises that covered my neck and collarbone but it was no use. There were too many to count and he did it on purpose. He wanted every guy we met to see that I was his and his only. I styled my hair in a way that would allow my ponytail to lay over my right shoulder, hiding most of the damage. Luckily, my outfit covered up the rest.

I waited for almost an hour as he finished getting ready and doing whatever else he did before we went out. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes and it only got worse once we reached the car. He ordered management to get him a limo for the night, telling them that he wanted to show the new guys what fame could bring. I for one thought he was rubbing it in their faces but I chose to keep my opinions to myself. The ride was spent with him pouring drink after drink as I sat back and stared out the window. The streets were littered with people waiting in lines to get into various clubs, some getting turned away as soon as they reached the bouncer. I watched as girls strutted down the streets in their skimpiest clothing, while guys trailed after them. I knew that would be the case as soon as we got to the club and would only get worse when we reached the party.

The limo came to a stop outside of the building and I could already hear the girls waiting to see who was inside. "Ready babe." Nikki smiled as he placed his sunglasses over his eyes. I just nodded my head as I waited for the driver to open the door, Nikki getting out first and reaching his hand out for me to take. The people waiting outside screamed as Nikki and I began walking towards the entrance. Most of the people in line were girls and a handful of men. Nikki did his usual wave and hellos while I just trailed behind him. I had no reason to wave and greet the people who hated me the most. I wasn't the rock star; I was only the wife. We made our way into the room and the band was already playing. I wasn't sure what time they had started but I'm sure Nikki did. It was kind of rude to come in late when a band was expecting to see you at their gig. It was probably a big deal to them to have Nikki come to their show and then find out he's not there.

We were ushered to a table filled with other guys from the record label and a few guys from various bands. The guys from the bands had a mixture of girls with them and I could already feel the glares. A few of the girls were actually watching the band and enjoying them but most of them were probably figuring out a way to get into their beds and try to stay for the night. I took my seat and looked towards the stage. Nikki of course was in rock star mode as he lit a cigarette and ordered a few rounds of alcohol. The band was actually pretty good as they performed song after song. They had a stage presence that would rival those of the successful bands and for once the singer was good. The music wasn't my favorite but they were entertaining to watch. Nikki must have liked it as well since we stayed for the whole thing. As soon as the band went offstage, he grabbed my hand and led me back there. The entire table followed behind as we went to see the guys.

As soon as the guys laid eyes on Nikki, they erupted in cheers and crowded around him. The people who followed us proceeded to do the same, giving the guys the credit they deserved. I decided to stay behind since I wasn't the one they wanted to see. I watched as everyone congratulated the guys on a great show, either shaking their hands or giving them high-fives. Even the girls that had trailed behind us were congratulating them by making their seductive moves and gestures. "Who's ready to party?!" The blonde quickly shouted out, causing everyone around them to let out a cheer as well. "Let's party!"

Since we had the limo, Nikki told the guys that they would be riding with us to the party. They were more than ecstatic to hop in and take a car ride with a true rockstar. I was wedged between Nikki and another guy as they others filled in tightly in front of us. They all made conversation as I sat there and listened. I really didn't have anything to say since I had only met three of them earlier in the day and the others were total strangers. "How'd you like the show?" The guy next to me asked. I was a bit taken back, not sure if he was talking to me or not. I stalled for a second before I answered, "Yeah." I stuttered. "It was a great show." He gave me a lopsided smile and turned his attention back to the other guys. I felt bad for giving him such a generic answer but I didn't know what to say. A part of me wanted to turn back to him and ask what his name was but I didn't want to interrupt the conversation he was having with the lead singer. I looked forward once again and made eye contact with one of the guys that Nikki had brought over. He gave me a smile, causing me to smile back in return. I was the first to break eye contact but I couldn't help but glance back. He was different looking, not in a bad way or anything, but in more of a good way. He had bright green eyes and blonde streaks in his messy brown hair. His clothes looked to be in the same thrown-together fashion that Nikki displayed but not as expensive. I don't know why I couldn't stop looking at him but my pulse sped up every time he looked my way. Maybe I was just being paranoid, he was probably looking at the guy next to me….


End file.
